A Big Sad Thing

I’ve been trying to figure out how to write a blog post this month. I’ve been thinking of a Richard Scarry book that we loved as kids, mostly because of how much my Dad hated it. Did you ever read Mr. Frumble’s Worst Day Ever? The poor pig just can’t catch a break. Dad would grumble about reading it, and we’d choose it over and over again. 

As I learned in counselling years ago, sometimes when everything feels hard at once, it’s because there’s one Big Sad Thing underlying them all. 

My Big Sad Thing has been my friend Rashidat’s pending deportation date. We’re still writing letters to her MP and to the Minister of Immigration, imploring them to grant this hardworking, community-oriented mama and her boys Permanent Residency here, but the date is drawing nearer and nearer. 

I welcomed Rashidat to a Host home almost 4 years ago now, just weeks before the pandemic hit Canada. 

We’ve celebrated Eid together with fried chicken and new Giant Tiger outfits for her kids in a parking lot. 

We made Christmas planters together. 

She came and weeded my wildly overgrown garden with me when I was pregnant and nauseous. 

We stood together at a vigil for the Afzaal family who was run down by a white supremacist in my hometown of London. 

She gave Theo some sweet little outfits when he was born. She had a top made for me by her sister in Nigeria and shipped all the way here. She made me a beautiful bracelet. 

I don’t have a way to tie this up with a bow, or wax eloquent about it. It just hurts, friends. It just hurts. 

A taste of the profoundly hopeful side of Open Homes….hear it straight from some Guests, Hosts, and Companions.

And I suppose that’s the reality of this relational ministry. Sometimes Guests become friends, and their struggles become your own struggles, and their joys your joys. That sounds a lot nicer when you’re in the “joys” part. 

Mostly this work is profoundly hopeful. I get to see people take their first steps of their new life here. I see them on some of the hardest days, those early moments when they have to take a leap of faith to trust us, and I try to find ways to reassure them that they will find their footing. And then they find it, bit by bit, and I get to see their personalities begin to shine. We get to know them in all their multifaceted personhood and it’s a delight. We eat each other’s food, laugh together, celebrate successful hearings, furnish their first Canadian apartments. 

But this is a Big Sad Thing. And I’m not going to skirt around that with faux hope or package it nicely. 

All I’m left with is: would you pray with me that my friend Rashidat doesn’t have to get on that flight? She begins to observe Ramadan this week, and it would be the most wonderful gift if she received some good Ramadan news.

Thank you as always for your support. It allows me the freedom to walk alongside Guests and friends in the good and hard seasons. I need to strengthen my fundraising network to keep up with the demands of baby expenses. Three ways you can help are to 1) forward this email to someone else; 2) talk with your church about becoming an Open Homes partner church; 3) or talk with me about hosting a small fundraising gathering over coffee or wine.